Psalm 43

Vindicate me, O God,
And plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
Oh, deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man!
² For You are the God of my strength;
Why do You cast me off?
Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

³ Oh, send out Your light and Your truth!
Let them lead me;
Let them bring me to Your holy hill
And to Your tabernacle.
⁴ Then I will go to the altar of God,
To God my exceeding joy;
And on the harp I will praise You,
O God, my God.

⁵ Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God

Oh, send out Your light and Your truth! Let them lead me

This is a short psalm, and I don't have all that much to say about it. It's got a very similar sentiment to Psalm 42. The psalmist feels a longing for God in his soul and can't seem to find Him. Then, in the middle of the psalm, he cries out for God to send out His light and truth because he wants to follow it. Sometimes I think we can be a little bit oblivious to God's subtle hints around us, especially when we're sitting around and can't feel God's presence with us. When we're done with our moping and decide that we need to go ask God to help us with everything again, we can't get by with something that may just be a coincidence. We're looking for God to pull out the big guns. "Hey God, show me exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, where I'm supposed to be going, to get back on the right track." We're like Gideon with his fleece (and most of us probably end up asking for that second sign too, you know, just in case we just happen to be in possession of a magic shamwow fleece).

But, God's okay with that. He was okay with it when Gideon did it, and he's okay with it when I do it too. He knows our nature and knows we like signs. Sometimes we don't get ones quite as obvious as a neon sign, but other times they stand out pretty brightly. As I'm sure I've said dozens of times, I don't know why I applied to the University of Kansas. I didn't want to leave the east coast. I didn't want to be in a masters program instead of a PhD one. I'm not even really sure why I applied. When I got my letters back, I had the choice of KU or Villanova. KU offered money, Villanova didn't. It was like there was a target pointing at Kansas. So, I went. I wasn't happy about it at first, I'll admit, but now I know that this is where I was meant to be. In the end, we need to be prepared to do what God wants us to do. When we ask Him to show His light and Truth, we need to be prepared to follow it wherever it goes, or else we risk continuing to suffer in our souls because we are still far from Him. And, when we get to where He wants us to be, we can "go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy."