Psalm 40

 ¹I waited patiently for the Lord;
And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry.
² He also brought me up out of a horrible pit,
Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock,
And established my steps.
³ He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the Lord.

⁴ Blessed is that man who makes the Lord his trust,
And does not respect the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
⁵ Many, O Lord my God, are Your wonderful works
Which You have done;
And Your thoughts toward us
Cannot be recounted to You in order;
If I would declare and speak of them,
They are more than can be numbered.

⁶ Sacrifice and offering You did not desire;
My ears You have opened.
Burnt offering and sin offering You did not require.
⁷ Then I said, “Behold, I come;
In the scroll of the book it is written of me.
⁸ I delight to do Your will, O my God,
And Your law is within my heart.”

⁹ I have proclaimed the good news of righteousness
In the great assembly;
Indeed, I do not restrain my lips,
O Lord, You Yourself know.
¹⁰ I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart;
I have declared Your faithfulness and Your salvation;
I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth
From the great assembly.

¹¹ Do not withhold Your tender mercies from me, O Lord;
Let Your lovingkindness and Your truth continually preserve me.
¹² For innumerable evils have surrounded me;
My iniquities have overtaken me, so that I am not able to look up;
They are more than the hairs of my head;
Therefore my heart fails me.

¹³ Be pleased, O Lord, to deliver me;
O Lord, make haste to help me!
¹⁴ Let them be ashamed and brought to mutual confusion
Who seek to destroy my life;
Let them be driven backward and brought to dishonor
Who wish me evil.
¹⁵ Let them be confounded because of their shame,
Who say to me, “Aha, aha!”

¹⁶ Let all those who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let such as love Your salvation say continually,
“The Lord be magnified!”
¹⁷ But I am poor and needy;
Yet the Lord thinks upon me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God.

It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here, and I must apologize. Home for me is always a place of physical, academic, and I’m afraid, spiritual vegetation. I got settled back in Kansas, not really wanting to be here. All of the friends I had made graduated and/or moved away. I didn’t want to be here, and I didn’t want to continue in my program. I just wanted to give up on everything because I couldn’t see why any of it was worth it anymore. Then, last night, I went to my church’s worship service/ baptism/ communion, and something just clicked. I thought I would give my Psalms another go, and when I opened up to this one, I got what I needed to hear.

I waited patiently for the Lord

How many times have I said, “I’m going to look to God for the answer to this,” only to wait for all of five minutes before I instead start consulting my magic 8 ball? I know it’s been worn out to say things like, “in God’s timing” or “sometimes God says, ‘Wait,’” but it never sits well with me. I suppose I could blame modern culture and all its instant gratification for my impatience, but I think it’s just part of the human condition. Even Romeo couldn’t wait 30 more seconds to find out that Juliet wasn’t actually dead. But, one of the things that has been coming up for me quite a bit lately is that we, as Christians, are supposed to be different from the norm. We’re supposed to do things differently because we walk with God and not according to whatever we want to do (commonly called “the world”). Which brings me to…

He has put a new song in my mouth

This is the phrase that stood out most to me in the entire psalm. It’s what I was thinking as I was singing along last night. We are different from people who don’t trust in God and different from the person we were when we weren’t walking with God. All things are renewed in Christ, freeing us from our old lives and allowing us to be beacons to people who cannot have the same hope that we have. Our song is new in God, and it should never be one of hate, as it too often is. How can the world look at us and see His Truth if we cannot separate ourselves from the world?

If I would declare and speak of them,
They are more than can be numbered

There is no end to God’s works. Not only has he created the whole earth and everything in it, he’s making plans for each one of us. He’s cleaning up every time we start mucking up the place. He’s making sure that one person’s mess doesn’t make a mess for someone else. He’s constantly weaving the connections between people and events. He was there holding on my flat tire as I drove to Walmart because I was too stubborn to put on the spare. He gave me a firm shove toward KU instead of any school that I actually thought I’d be going to. He made me randomly pick a seat next to a girl who ended up being a great friend. He made it so that my building was painted when I wasn’t here anyway. He’s done probably a bajillion and a half things for me already today. And yet, here I am, wondering how long it’s going to take God to answer my stupid, probably inconsequential request.

But I am poor and needy;
Yet the Lord thinks upon me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Do not delay, O my God.

Still, that’s no reason to think that I shouldn’t be asking for stuff. I’m always messing stuff up. I’m always getting myself into places I don’t want to be, doubting myself, wondering what in the world I’m doing. But, God is there thinking about me, designing where my life should go. I imagine it almost as a spider web. There are certain strings that only the maker of the web knows that aren’t sticky. Then there are all those other ones that we can so easily get caught in. When I ask for help, God is going to show me the non-sticky strings, and when I decide I can do it by myself and get stuck, God’s there to pull me off and set me back on track.